Pride
by FebruarySnowFlower
Summary: Sesshomaru, faced with the birth of his hanyou son, must decide which is more important: Caring for the bastard child and his human mother, or his own pride as a demon? (Takes place roughly three years before The Road to Resolution)
1. The Dog Lord Meets His Son

Expect this story to come in three parts, a brief retelling of the events that led Sesshomaru and Kohana to marry each other. This story takes place roughly three years before the events of my other fic The Road to Resolution.

As always, comments and criticisms are appreciated. Thanks for reading!

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Part 1: The Dog Lord Meets His Son

Kohana often said that she loved him. Sesshomaru could admit that he was fond of her, she was his mate after all. She had given herself to him, she was his and his alone.

But love?

A term often used by humans to describe their emotional attachments to their mates or offspring. Powerful demons such as himself didn't posses the weakness of human emotion. His own mother had never used the word and neither did he.

He remembered his father using the word only once, not long before he died. Was it 'love' that his father felt as he rushed off to meet his demise for the sake of Inuyasha and his human mother?

It had been snowing that night too.

Sesshomaru couldn't help but notice the parallels as he stood in the cold streets of Kumamoto, listening to every cry and shriek coming from within the house. Kohana was whelping, giving birth to a half demon child sired by him.

How had it come to this? Sesshomaru detested Inuyasha, that half breed had caused their father's downfall. Once word got out that the Inu no Taisho had taken a human mate many demons thought him weak and challenged his power. None of them succeeded, not until Ryukotsusei.

Their father managed to seal the dragon, but not before he was mortally wounded. Sesshomaru had spent many hours pondering what little details were known about their battle; how was it that a demon like Ryukotsusei managed to defeat his father whose power vastly surpassed the dragon's? The only conclusion he came to was that his father had been distracted. His mind had been more concerned on a human woman carrying his child than the battle before him.

Sesshomaru vowed that he would never disgrace himself like that. He was a demon of conquest, his power would one day surpass that of even his own great and terrible father. Once he killed Inuyasha, erased that mistake from the face of this earth, he would take the Tetsusaiga and carve his way to the top of a new empire.

He would be equal to none.

And yet, here he stood, waiting on a half breed carrying his blood to enter this world.

Did he possess the same weakness as his father?

His blood churned at the thought, his claws itched to tear away anything that would undermine his strength. But he found no opponent.

Despite his best efforts, he could not bring himself to fault Kohana.

The girl was strange and had odd notions about the world; she believed that the value of a person derived from character instead of power. She did not approve of killing an opponent, and acted as though she and he were equals on some level.

On anyone else he might've thought these notions to be foolishness or flaws. But Kohana…that was simply who she was.

Despite being born a mere mortal, she was intelligent and cunning. She calculated her strengths against her enemy's in battle and was too stubborn to ever accept defeat. She was never afraid to speak her mind or argue her opinion.

But beneath the steel façade she possessed a gentle side. She cared for Rin as if she were her own child, Kohana went well out of her way to nurture and teach his young ward. The girls were close, it had been Rin's admiration of the elder that first convinced Sesshomaru to allow her into his group.

Over two years had passed since then.

Kohana occupied Sesshomaru's thoughts more than he would like to admit. Her scent was addictive, her smile radiant, her body a perfect fit against his own.

When he first heard that she'd been taken prisoner by a samurai lord, too heavy with child to defend herself, his blood seethed in anger and his instincts shouted murder. He abandoned all other pursuits in order to rescue her.

…Perhaps this 'fondness' was getting out of hand.

Sesshomaru closed his eyes. He could hear her voice, growing hoarse as another hour of her labor passed. Very soon she would be mother to a half breed. She and her child would be no different than Inuyasha and his mother.

His father's 'love' for a human girl had been his downfall.

Sesshomaru refused to succumb to the same weakness.

He could not love Kohana.

There was still time to curb this foolishness before it consumed him. Kohana could keep the child, they would be cared for by her friends and the old priestess near the well. Without her to constantly distract him he could return to his conquest, he would kill Naraku and then onto more powerful demons to test his strength.

He turned towards the street, knowing that in a mere instant he could fly out of the city and leave everything behind.

Suddenly another voice cried out, stronger and louder than any of the others. Sesshomaru paused and turned back towards the house.

"Sesshomaru," Kagome came to the door, a bright smile on her weary face, "Congratulations, your son is here."

Sesshomaru barely noticed Inuyasha's excited shout, he'd nearly forgotten that his brother and his companions had waited in the street with him.

 _My son…?_

He swept past the miko and into the house. Following Kohana's scent he turned down the hall until he reached the room on the end. She lay on a futon, her face red from straining and her body drooping with exhaustion, but she gazed lovingly at the squalling bundle in her arms.

When she looked up at him, her smile was the most radiant thing he'd ever seen.

"Look," Kohana croaked, her voice shaking as tears welled in her eyes, "He made it. Our little boy is here."

Sesshomaru knelt next to her and looked at the infant. His chest swelled with pride as he saw his own face reflected in the child. Silver locks dusted the infant's crown, a blue crescent moon donned his forehead. The infant opened his eyes for the briefest moment, revealing the amber glow beneath his lids. A snow-white tail poked out from beneath his blanket.

This tiny squalling creature carried a scent that was an even mix of his and Kohana's.

His son.

"I know we haven't talked about names much," Kohana said, "But…when I was in Takahiro's prison, I…if it weren't for him, I don't think I would have made it. I was able to be brave for his sake…" she looked up "I want to call him Futeki."

Courage.

Sesshomaru nodded.

"It's a good name," he said, and Kohana beamed.

"Hear that, Futeki?" she cooed at the infant, "Your papa likes your name."

As she cooed and rocked their child, Sesshomaru was stunned by the warmth that suddenly blossomed within him. The feeling nearly overwhelmed him, as though every other purpose in his life paled in comparison to staying by Kohana and Futeki's side. Nothing else mattered beyond caring for them.

It was the love of a human and her hanyou child that killed his father.

Sesshomaru stood on the precipice of falling down that same path. The startling emotions he felt for this human girl and her hanyou child threatened to consume him. He could not allow that to happen.

Sesshomaru could not love them.

As Kohana gave into fatigue and drifted off to sleep, Sesshomaru sensed that Inuyasha and the rest lingering in the hallway, waiting for their chance to see the new pup and to ensure his mother's health. Wordlessly the taiyoukai stood and strolled past them, steeling himself against every feeling he harbored for the human girl and her newborn child.

Against weakness.

It was a challenge more difficult than anything he'd ever faced.


	2. The Mother Meets An Ugly Truth

Part 2: The Mother Meets An Ugly Truth

Trees slashed at her cheeks, branches pulling, tugging, snagging, ripping at her kimono. Her legs kept pounding against the earth, her lungs burning with each gulp of the musty forest air. She kept running, ignoring the stream of tears that fell from her eyes.

" _Futeki is dead, Kagura killed him!"_

At the stony shore of the riverbed she tripped, her body falling towards the ground. Her hands flew forward, arms crashing against the sharp jagged stones as she landed face-first into the river water. Grunting, she hauled herself up, her long dark hair dripping the muddy water onto her clothes and battered arms.

" _Why'd you even come here? You never cared about him! You never cared about us!"_

Crawling away from the river, she met the mossy base of a tree. Leaning against the jagged bark, she tucked her knees up to her chest, rested her forehead on them and wept.

" _You selfish demon, don't you dare come back! I never want to see you again!"_

Kohana truly was the most pathetic creature on earth.

 _I'm such an idiot! I'm so stupid_ , she thought bitterly, _I can't believe I actually thought that…that we…that he might…_

A high pitched wail escaped her lips and with a shriek Kohana punched the root of the tree. That she had been reduced to a weeping mess both infuriated and shamed her. She was stronger than this, rejection and dismissal from anyone shouldn't hurt this much!

But it wasn't just anyone.

Sesshomaru was the father of her child.

And she'd just told him their son was dead. She'd just lied through her teeth and told a man that his child was dead. Guilt rose like the tides of the ocean, drowning her heart in shame and self-loathing. Her sobs grew louder.

He'd deserved it though hadn't he? He'd abandoned her with a baby, why should she care whether or not he thought Futeki was dead? He already acted as if the child were never even born!

 _Dammit, he's just like dad!_

Memories of Nomiya Shigaki surfaced, the man that treated her as if she were no more than an unwanted pest. For fifteen years she lived under his roof and no amount of perfect grades, completed chores, or school awards and performances could capture his praise or attention. She'd tried nearly her entire life to earn his love, but every single effort had been in vain. She'd promised herself that she would never let a child feel as worthless as her own father had done to her.

When she found herself in the feudal era, she knew she wouldn't be missed. Given the opportunity to carve her own life, a life free of his condescending stare and frequent sneers, Kohana made no effort to return to her former home.

…But it seemed that even here she wasn't wanted.

Every memory of Sesshomaru was a lie. Every time his voice took on a gentler tone when he was speaking only with her, the way he'd looked at her and made her believe that she was special, the first night she spent in his arms and every night since…

 _Why?! Why?!_ Her mind screamed, _If it all meant nothing to you then why'd you do it?! Was it just a game? Was I just a toy?_

Kohana had always prided herself on her wit and unyielding personality, she saw herself different from other girls her age who chased after boys and constantly threw their hearts into the open only to have them smashed to pieces again and again. She wasn't some flaky tease, she saw herself as completely dignified and focused; she thought that nothing could ever shake her resolve.

Then she met Sesshomaru. His intense gaze and soft but commanding touch had sent her heart racing, every pulse pushing her dignified image further and further away.

She never thought she'd be a single mother at seventeen without anything to her name.

She continued to cry, mourning her loss of innocence at the hands of someone so cruel and careless. She wanted to crawl into a hole and die, to vanish off the face of the Earth and disappear forever.

 _No one would notice,_ she thought, _It would be like I was never here._

As dark thoughts called to her soul, Futeki's smiling face appeared in her mind. Sesshomaru be damned, nothing could change the fact that she loved and would always love her child. She longed to hold her infant, to coo and rock him to sleep, the tiny warm bundle nestled safely in her arms.

But Futeki was far away. Hidden with Rin, the two children were tucked safely in the halls of Kaida's mansion. Kohana had chosen her mentor's home, convinced that would be the safest place to hide them while she traveled with Inuyasha and the rest. Every day without her baby ripped another hole in her heart, but as long as Naraku and Kagura were convinced that the child was dead they could no longer target him.

And until they were gone, she would have to keep up the ruse. Lying to her friends hadn't been easy, but she'd seen it necessary in order for Futeki's protection. Lying to Sesshomaru however…

She was starting to doubt her plan.

She was starting to doubt a lot of things.

 _He deserved it,_ she reminded herself, _he abandoned us!_

" _If you insist on maintaining your impetuous temper, then do as you see fit,"_ his scathing remark as he departed rang though her mind, " _But know this. I_ _ **will**_ _be the one to avenge my son."_

 _Now it matters to you?! Bullshit!_ Her mind roared, _You don't care, and neither do I! You can go off and…and…!_

A sudden noise, the tumble of rocks on the shore of the riverbed, caught her attention and her head shot up. Rubbing her swollen tear-stained eyes, Kohana's pulse slowed when she recognized Kagome's figure approaching and kneeling next to her. The miko's expression was sympathetic.

"You took off so fast, we were all worried about you," the miko's gentle face was sympathetic, "What happened to you, are you okay?"

"I-it's nothing," Kohana said, annoyed that her voice trembled and was still thick with sobs. Wordlessly, Kagome reached into her pack and pulled out a few towels. Handing one to Kohana, the miko took the other and set to work drying the muddy river water out of her friend's hair.

Touched by her kindness, the tempest within Kohana began to subside and she managed to utter a 'thank you' before she wiped the tears and mud from her face. The two of them sat quietly for several moments, Kagome tending to the young mother's muddy bruises.

"That couldn't have been easy," Kagome spoke at last, her voice quiet and soothing, "I don't think I've ever seen anybody…stand up to…Sesshomaru like that." Kohana's brown gaze slid towards Kagome, sensing that she would've chosen something else to say were she not trying to be polite about the situation. The miko was one of the few people who knew the truth about Futeki.

"He deserved it," Kohana mumbled bitterly, "He doesn't care about us. He's never coming back, I told him to leave." Her own words nearly sent her into tearful hysterics again and she had to bite her lip to force back the sob. Kagome paused and looked at her.

"…I've watched Inuyasha and Sesshomaru fight for a long time," she said, "Sesshomaru's always cool and collected, even when he's defeated, you can never guess what he's thinking. But…when you told him that Futeki had died?" she looked directly at Kohana, "That's the first time I've ever seen him look…wounded."

"What?" Kohana's swollen eyes narrowed. Wounded? No, he'd been angry with her, how dare some human girl tell him off, how…

But…his eyes had widened, hadn't they? His gaze had clouded, his mouth had dropped…for the briefest instant that cool exterior had shattered, and Kohana had been so wrapped up in her hurt and anger she hadn't noticed.

"I can't tell you whether you made the right decision or not," Kagome continued, "But even though he hasn't been the greatest father…I don't think Sesshomaru has left for good. I believe he cares more than he lets on, a lot more than you think."

Kohana regarded the miko a moment, uncertainty clouding her expression until she looked away, sniffling as another bought of tears began to spill. Kagome resumed her silence, still gently combing the mud away and drying Kohana's hair.

 _No…no that can't be true…he left us, he doesn't care…_ Kohana forcefully told herself, trying to justify her anger.

 _But…but what if she's right…_ an uncertain voice answered, _What if he does…?_

 _And I just told him that his son was dead, I spat it at his face and screamed at him. If that's the case…_

… _Then I'm the monster._

Her anger fell apart like crumbling walls, guilt rising up to take its place. The tears began to flow stronger and she was no longer able to keep her shame at bay. When she fell forward, sobs racking her body once more, Kagome was there to hold her, stroking her hair and murmuring comfort as though she were a mother herself.

It was several hours before Kohana finally stopped crying.

Because she knew, no matter how her emotions raged, she didn't hate Sesshomaru.

She didn't think she ever could.


	3. Reunion

Part 3: Reunion

It had nearly been a week, and she swore she could still smell the acrid tang of smoke in her clothes and hair. Her nights were filled with feverish dreams of an infant's cry slowly drowned out by the hungry roar of the fire and the howling of bloodthirsty demons. Feet rooted to the ground, she helplessly screamed as beady eyes within the flames stared at her in malicious glee.

The burning walls would crumble, taking the baby's voice with it.

Every day since they'd returned Kohana had the dream, and before dawn each morning she would wake in terror, her body drenched in fear and sweat. Her heart raced until she spotted Futeki's snowy head, breathing softly as he lay curled safely asleep between her and Rin. Quietly, the frightened mother picked up her baby and pulled Rin's head into her lap.

Every day she cradled the children and watched the sun's first ray peak over the horizon, fighting back tears of guilt and sorrow.

She'd almost lost them and it had been entirely her fault.

Kohana's lie, while intended to protect the children, completely backfired when Naraku discovered the gaping flaw in her story. Kohana had blamed Kagura for their deaths, but the wind witch knew exactly who she had and had not killed. It hadn't taken them long to figure out where Rin and Futeki were hidden.

In a ploy to distract Kohana, Inuyasha, and the rest from killing a powerful demon that was aiding him, Naraku sent a horde of demons to burn down Kaida's mansion. They had strict orders to ensure that absolutely no children survived the onslaught, Kagura had been sent to deliver the message to them.

For motives known only to her, Kagura waited until Sesshomaru was near before she told them.

Kohana had seen him angry before, but for the first time in her life his hostile stare was directed solely at her. Shivers ran up her spine as his icy amber glare drove daggers directly into her soul.

The worst part was, she couldn't fault him for it. This was entirely her doing, she deserved every ounce of ire he shot at her.

But there'd been no time for fighting, not with Futeki and Rin's lives at stake. Putting their animosity aside, they rushed to Kaida's mansion and arrived just in time to see hot flames licking the sky as a swarm of demons cackled wildly and flew in and out of every crevice.

Sesshomaru wasted no time, he tore through the demons at the entrance and bolted through the burning walls. Kohana tried to follow, but one of the ceiling beams fell and blocked her path. The wind whipped the smoke into her eyes, the heat scorched her skin as she desperately circled the flames and cried out for her children.

It had been the longest moment of her life, she stood to lose everything that mattered to her, and she was too weak to do anything to help.

If she hadn't hidden them away, if she hadn't lied to everyone and acted rashly because of her immature tantrum, this never would have happened.

Praying to every god she could think of, she begged for their survival, offered her life for theirs. She cried and screamed until her throat was raw and her skin ached from the scorching heat.

After what seemed like an eternity, Sesshomaru emerged from the burning waste, Rin safely by his side. Not a moment later, Inuyasha and Kagome came racing from around the back, Futeki wailing loudly within the miko's arms.

Coated in soot the young mother raced towards them, taking her son into her arms and pulling Rin into her embrace. Together the three of them wept, Kohana held them tight, thankful beyond words that her selfish mistake had not cost them their lives.

Now, nearly a week later back in Kaede's village, she was still acutely aware through her haunted nightmares and her waking fear just how close she had come to losing them. The sun rising over the mountains once more, the young mother glanced towards Sesshomaru's intimidating figure standing guard just outside the entrance of the hut.

Though her children were spared, there was still one thing she had lost.

He wasn't speaking to her.

Sesshomaru had never been the most talkative person, but Kohana had quickly learned to guess what he was thinking based on the little hints in his posture or facial expression. She could read his mood when their eyes met, or by the slightest contact, when his skin brushed against hers.

For the past week he refused to even look at her.

When he hadn't left by the second day, Kohana had been confused, until she noticed the looks Sesshomaru periodically gave to Rin or Futeki. The little girl openly approached him with the infant hanyou, and the taiyoukai patiently listened as Rin chattered happily about Futeki while the baby gurgled with delight. Sesshomaru watched them, even followed them whenever Kohana left the hut and took Futeki and Rin to explore the village. Though he almost seemed hesitant, his posture and expression were clear:

He was acting like a father, guarding his children.

While one week of paternal behavior certainly wasn't going to make up for months of absence, Kohana's heart swelled at the scene. All she'd wanted was for Futeki to know the love of both parents, and just when she'd given up hope Sesshomaru completely flipped her expectations and made a start.

 _Kagome was right,_ she thought to herself, _He did care more than he let on._

Unfortunately, Sesshomaru's newfound sense of family did not include herself. It was if Kohana didn't exist, he refused to come within three meters of her and completely ignored her when she spoke. He had every right to be angry with her, she'd let him believe his children were dead and nearly got them killed in the process, but that didn't keep her heart from breaking every time his eyes completely passed over her.

It was her own fault. Kohana had pushed him away, and now it seemed that they would have to care for Rin and Futeki separately in their own way. Whether or not he decided to stay this time, she was completely on her own, he clearly wanted nothing to do with her.

 _As long as he cares for Futeki,_ she told herself, _As long as Futeki has a father, then somehow I'll manage._

The next evening, as Kohana was helping Kagome prepare dinner for everyone, she overheard Rin speaking.

"Lord Sesshomaru, you aren't going to stay mad at Kohana forever, are you?" The little girl asked, "She was only trying to protect us, and she was upset because her feelings were hurt, she didn't mean for anything bad to happen."

Kohana nearly choked, but when she turned to silence the girl Sesshomaru's response stopped her.

"I am not angry with her."

 _What?_

Slowly, Kohana turned her gaze towards him. He didn't look away from Rin, refusing to meet Kohana's eyes, but Sesshomaru's expression had softened somewhat, almost as if there were…

…remorse?

Kohana blinked and realized she'd been imagining it, he looked distant and angry again. Shaking her head, she berated her heart for making her see things that weren't there.

"Rin, your dinner is ready," she called out, "Why don't you come over and eat?"

The little girl hesitated, as though she wanted to ask more questions, but with a nod from Sesshomaru she relented and joined Kohana and Kagome. Soon Inuyasha, Sango, and the rest filed in and together they ate while Sesshomaru stood a distance away and ignored them.

Kohana didn't participate in conversation. Quietly she fed Futeki, ignoring the troublesome thoughts that flittered around her mind as she focused on how quickly her baby was adapting to eating solid foods, tiny fangs already poking through his gums.

That night they all settled down in their borrowed hut, Kohana gently tucked Rin and Futeki in as she curled up beside them. As she drifted off to sleep she focused on their quiet breathing, reminding herself that they were very much alive and still by her side.

Once more the acrid stench of smoke hit her nose, she stared in horror as the burning walls of the mansion towered over her. Demons floated in circles over her head, cackling as they danced in delight through the flames. A baby, Futeki, shrieked in terror from within the walls.

"No," Kohana shouted angrily, "Stop it! Why are you doing this? Let him go or I'll kill you!"

"Us?" The demons asked, "We're merely observers, perhaps you should look at your own hands before you cast blame."

"What?" Kohana shouted, but her jaw dropped in terror when she looked down. In her fists she clenched a burning torch, a trail of ash lay between her and the edge of the house. Screaming, she flung the torch away. It landed within the walls, exploding as it hit the wood, the fire growing larger and out of control.

"Poor mother," the demons mocked, "She can't protect her son. He'll die in there, burned by the fire she started."

"No!" Kohana screamed, "No, I didn't! I won't let him die!" She dashed forward into the flames, shrieking in pain as the heat pealed her skin, the smoke choking her senses as her clothing caught on fire.

"Futeki!" She called out, "Futeki, I'm coming!" His voice only became more terrified. The walls crumbled around her, molten wood pouring over her head and burning her skin away. She struggled through the pain, racing towards her child's sobs as he grew further and further away.

"No!" Kohana shrieked, "Futeki, no!"

Suddenly, Sesshomaru's golden eyes were staring at her.

Screaming, Kohana thrashed, until she saw that the room was dark. The fire was gone, she was in the hut back in Kaede's village. Drenched in sweat and trembling, heart pounding in her ears, she realized she wasn't in her futon.

Sesshomaru was carrying her.

"What's going on?" Kagome asked, her voice tight as if she had suddenly been woken from sleep, "Is everything okay?"

"Watch Futeki and Rin," Sesshomaru commanded, not bothering to look at Kagome "We will return before morning."

Before Kohana could ask, he suddenly bolted out the door. A rush of cool midnight air blasted against her face, tossing her hair and stinging her eyes. She turned her head and winced against it, trying to maintain her senses as Sesshomaru dashed her off into the night. A few moments later he stopped and set her down, she gulped air into her lungs and tried to regain her balance.

An owl hooted in the distance, and the grassy smell of early spring hit her nose. Looking around into the darkness, Kohana realized that he had taken her into the woods, away from the village and everyone else.

"Wh-what are we doing out here?" she asked shakily, taking a step away from him, "Why are we here, I-I thought…you weren't speaking to me."

"Something is troubling you," Sesshomaru responded, "Why do you cry out in your sleep?"

"I-it's nothi…" Kohana started to say but then she bit her lip. For the first time in a week Sesshomaru was looking directly at her, his expression calm and open. There wasn't a trace of anger or malice as he looked at her.

"I…" She faltered again, the terror of her dream slowly returning to her senses as she remembered it. Glancing away she let out a shaky breath and held her shoulders.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault," she said quietly, admitting her defeat, "Futeki and Rin, they were in danger because of me…I thought that if I hid them away I could protect them, if I could convince Naraku they were dead then he would leave them alone. But it wasn't enough, I lied to…almost everyone. I didn't trust anyone to help, and he still wasn't fooled."

"When Kaida's house was on fire, I couldn't get in, there was nothing I could do. I realized that they could be hurt or dead, and I was the one who put them there. I didn't know what else to do, I was trying to protect them and in the end, because of me they almost…"

Kohana inhaled, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall again. When she lifted a hand to wipe her eyes, a gentle touch clasped over her wrist. She looked up and saw that Sesshomaru was standing next to her again, frowning slightly as he gazed down at her.

"It isn't your duty alone to protect them. I will not allow Naraku to harm Rin or Futeki…or you."

Kohana's pulse quickened, her eyes widened as she looked up at him. She wanted nothing more than to believe his words, but the doubts that had plagued her for months suddenly resurfaced and she couldn't stop herself from voicing them.

"How can I be sure of that?" She asked, "After Futeki was born, you disappeared. Why did you decide to come back?"

Sesshomaru paused, unsure of how to answer. Pulling away from her, he glanced into the trees and frowned.

He wasn't used to defending his actions.

Even worse, he wasn't used to admitting they were wrong.

But when he glanced back at Kohana, saw the lonely and frightened look she gave him, he couldn't think of why he ever thought it was right to leave her in the first place. Closing his eyes, Sesshomaru prepared to do what every ounce of his pride snarled at him not to.

"I cannot fault you for doubting me," he started quietly, "After Futeki was born; I left with no intention of returning."

He heard Kohana's hitched breath, her pulse sped as she took another step away from him.

"I-if that's true," she said, her voice trembling as the first salty drops spilled from her eyes, "Why?"

Sesshomaru looked at her again, standing there with her head held high, as though she were stubbornly trying to pretend she wasn't crying. He felt the urge to pull her close until her tears had ceased, but he stopped himself. He couldn't, not until he told her what senseless thought had driven him to hurt her this much.

That he, the great demon Sesshomaru, was lowering himself to cater to the emotional outpouring of some mortal woman…

But this wasn't just any mortal, this was Kohana.

She was more important than his pride.

"My father was a great and powerful demon," he said, "When it became known that he had taken a mortal woman as a mate, many other demons saw that he had become weak. They challenged his authority, and he was forced to kill every one that appeared and stood in his way."

"The final demon that challenged him was the dragon Ryukotsusei. Father should've won that battle, but he was distracted. His human mate was whelping, he was more concerned with protecting her from the human Takemaru than the battle in front of him. Ryukotsusei wounded him, Father barely managed to seal him to the edge of a cliff before he ran off to be with her and Inuyasha. By then, he was already dying."

"Father had never before let anything distract him in battle, Inuyasha and his mother were the cause of his death. I didn't understand why a demon such as Father weakened himself for the sake of a human girl and a half-demon. He even went so far as to leave the Tetsusaiga to Inuyasha, the miserable half-breed that caused his demise, when it was I who was destined to surpass him and take his place. I needed to become powerful, I vowed to let nothing stand in my way."

"I never expected to save Rin. I did not foresee meeting you. When you discovered that you were with child I saw that I had changed; the night Futeki was born I realized that I was following the same path that had destroyed Father. I only thought of leaving, of avoiding the same miserable fate that would prevent me from surpassing him."

"I see," Kohana said, defeat written clearly on her face as she bit her trembling lip, "Well if….if that's the case, then I won't stop yo-"

"No," Sesshomaru interrupted her, "When you told me that Rin and Futeki had died, that I allowed my own son to perish without ever knowing him because I didn't want to succumb to the same fate as Father…" He narrowed his eyes, unable to suppress the tide of anger that rose within him.

"It would seem that Father will always be the stronger one, he was able to face his death in order to protect Inuyasha. When I abandoned you, when I failed to protect my son…that was nothing but weakness." The last words dripped from his tongue like acid, and his glare became ice.

Kohana stared, jaw dropped slightly in disbelief. To hear Sesshomaru speak so much at once seemed absolutely foreign, but for him to willingly admit that he was wrong was completely unthinkable.

 _He wasn't mad at me,_ she suddenly realized, _No, this whole time…he was mad himself._

"You can't take the all blame for this," Kohana argued, "I was the one who lied to you, I let you believe they were dead, what kind of mother does that?"

"I provided you with reason to doubt me," Sesshomaru said, "Had I been there, Rin and Futeki would not have been put at risk."

Kohana searched his face, her heart moved when she saw the array of emotions that Sesshomaru had never displayed before: Shame, Guilt, Sorrow…Quietly she moved towards him and took his hand.

"I suppose then…we're both to blame for this," she said, "But Sesshomaru you…when Rin and Futeki needed you most, you were there. I couldn't save them from that place, I couldn't even get inside, but you did. Even though you left, even after you found out I lied to you, you still came to save them."

"I know now that thinking I could protect them on my own was stupid. I'm only human, I can't do much, but you…you're so much more than me. Futeki, all I can do is try my best to be his mother, but he's part you. There's things that only you can teach him, his demon side that you will understand far better than I ever could, so please…he needs his father," Kohana looked into his eyes and pleaded, "He needs you…I need you."

Sesshomaru looked down at her, his expression softening as he took in the human girl who hid nothing on her face, opening all of her heart for him to read. After a moment he frowned.

"You still doubt me," he said.

"…I'm scared," Kohana answered after a moment, "I love you more than anything else, and when you left it…hurt. A lot. I let my pain get the best of me, I became someone I don't like; I abandoned my children…" she paused and exhaled.

"I know that you won't stay. Naraku's still out there, there's probably loads of other demons that want to fight you, and…who am I to keep you from that? Conquest and power, these things are in your nature, I _want_ you to become the strongest you can be. You would never be happy in a village surrounded by people…but," her hand tightened against his, she pressed her other palm against her heart and looked at him with absolute longing, "I can't stand the thought of never seeing you again."

Sesshomaru moved his arm around her and pulled her close. Kohana's warm scent wreathed around him, he felt her racing pulse beneath her skin. She pressed against him and together they stood in the darkened woods, quietly feeling the sensation of each other's embrace. Their reunion was hidden to all except the pale light of the half-moon above.

Time seemed to disappear, until at last Sesshomaru spoke.

"What would you have me do," the great demon said, his voice barely a whisper.

In that moment, Kohana instantly felt the weight of his words. For the first time, perhaps the only time in history, Sesshomaru willingly placed himself in someone else's mercy. The powerful dog demon, whose pride and self-confidence dictated his every action, was ready to heed the word of a simple human woman.

A gift that he bestowed only to Kohana.

In a moment of absolute clarity, her heart whispered and she knew exactly what she wanted.

"Marry me," she blurted before she had a chance to talk herself out of it, "Make me your wife and promise me that no matter how many times you leave, you'll always come back."

Sesshomaru took a step back and looked at her, his face unreadable. After a moment of silence, Kohana began to squirm under his scrutiny.

"I...uh," she gulped as her face turned red in embarrassment, "That is..i-if you want to…"

A faint smirk suddenly played on Sesshomaru's lips.

"Very well," He pressed his forehead against hers, "You are mine; I shall become yours." Without warning he scooped her up and dashed off into the night again.

"Where are we going?" Kohana shouted against the wind as it once more pelted her in the face.

"To be wed," Sesshomaru answered simply. Kohana blinked. Her eyes widened.

" _Right now_?!" She yelped, "My hair is a mess! _I'm still in my pajamas_!"

Sesshomaru halted, Kohana felt the jerk of momentum against his arm. Blinking against the sudden stop, she looked up and saw the dog demon raise an eyebrow.

"Does your attire affect your ability to make an oath?" His voice was laced with only the slightest hint of impatience. Kohana looked at him for a moment before she understood.

Sesshomaru was ready to prove himself, he always moved at his own pace and waited for no one. He wouldn't need a fancy ceremony, he was ready to make a promise to her no matter what she looked like. His eager devotion sent her heart skittering and giddiness welled up inside her.

"No," Kohana shook her head and smiled, "This will be fine. Go on."

Even bursting through the entrance of Kaede's hut and waking the elderly woman straight from slumber wasn't enough to bring down her mood, though she did feel kind of bad about it.

"Priestess," Sesshomaru commanded, "Wed us."

"What?" Kaede said, indignation and anger written clearly on her sleepy face, "What's the meaning of this?!"

"Sorry," Kohana leapt down from Sesshomaru's arm and knelt next to Kaede, "About the intrusion. We didn't mean to be abrupt about this and wake you up this way, but we would like to be married."

"Right now?"

"Yes," Kohana nodded, "I know it's in the middle of the night, but now is perfect for us. Please Kaede, if you do this for us I promise I'll help you tend your garden. I'll even start tomorrow morning so you can sleep in."

"Are you certain, child?" Kaede sat up and looked between Sesshomaru's glare and Kohana's hopeful face, "Do you not wish to go wake your friends?"

Kohana shook her head.

As it had always been with them, Sesshomaru's emotions, his soft side, his humor…those were for her and her alone. They wouldn't need an audience.

"Very well," Kaede stood, "I suppose if you'll be watering my plants in the morning…" She signaled for them to follow her as slowly made her way out of the hut. The three of them walked through the darkened streets of the village, Kaede leading the way to the shrine at the top of the hill as Kohana and Sesshomaru silently trailed behind her.

When they made it to the edge of the shrine Kaede turned to face them.

"I've never before performed a ceremony for a demon," the elderly priestess said, not unkindly, "I'm not certain how to alter the purification ritual for him."

Kohana glanced to Sesshomaru but he didn't seem to have an answer.

"Just do your best," Kohana looked back to Kaede, "I'm certain whatever you choose to do will be fine."

"Proceed," Sesshomaru nodded.

Kaede nodded and turned back to the shrine. She procured the ceremonial sake cups for them and instructed them on the proper order to sip from them. As they took three sips from each cup, Kaede chanted over them and offered prayers to the gods, asking for their blessing and the purification of the young couple's souls.

Whether or not the purification bothered him, Sesshomaru didn't show it, but Kohana could've sworn that she saw the air around him spark; as though a demonic aura were trying to fight the purification. He continued on as if nothing was amiss. Once the purification ended, Kaede took the cups from them.

"I will now ask you to make your vows," she said. She turned and looked at Sesshomaru.

"In sight of all the kami gathered in our presence, do you swear to love this woman, to care for her in sickness and in health, to protect her, to honor her, and remain faithful to her until the end of your days when death parts you?"

"Yes," Sesshomaru answered in a clear voice, "I do." His face was serious, and it was clear that he was absolutely certain about every word. Kohana looked up at him, eyes sparkling as her smile grew.

Kaede nodded to him and turned to Kohana.

"In the name of all of your ancestors and future descendants, to you swear to love this man, to care for him in sickness and in health, to protect him, to honor him, and remain faithful to him until the end of your days when death parts you?"

"Yes," Kohana nodded, "Yes, I swear it." Heart thrumming in her chest, she couldn't keep from beaming.

"The gods above have heard your oath. I ask them to bless your union, may they guard your children and grant you many happy days. The two of you are now one, and you shall live as husband and wife."

 _Wife._

Kohana giggled aloud at the word, in utter disbelief that so suddenly she was a married woman. She looked to Sesshomaru and noticed the tiny smirk as he looked back at her.

 _My husband._

Love swelled within her. Sesshomaru was hers. No matter where he went, no matter how long they were apart, he would always return to her. She believed him with all of her heart.

When they kissed, Kaede had the decency to look away. Though for this one instance it seemed that Sesshomaru didn't care if she saw.

"Now," Kaede said after a moment, "About my garden..."

"Right," Kohana looked to her and laughed, "Don't worry, I promise I'll take care of it. Thank you, really, for everything." She bowed deeply to the elderly priestess. Kaede nodded and returned her bow.

"Well then, if that's all you needed," Kaede grunted sleepily, "I'm going back to bed." She turned and slowly began to descend the steps of the shrine.

Kohana, still beaming, giggled as her cheeks stayed rosy.

"I'm not sure if I can go to sleep again," she confessed, "But we should probably head back soon, I'm sure Kagome doesn't want to watch Futeki and Rin forever."

"It's still night," Sesshomaru pointed out. Kohana looked at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah…and?"

"I told her we would be back before morning."

"Was there…something else we needed to do?"

Without warning Sesshomaru suddenly scooped her up once more. Kohana yelped in surprise as the dog demon suddenly put his face very close to hers.

"You are my wife now," he said, his voice becoming a low growl.

As understanding dawned on the young mother's face, her eyes widened and her face turned red. Suppressing a laugh, she looked at him and grinned.

"Very well, _husband,"_ she said, liking the sound of the word on her tongue, "Lead the way."

For the second time that night, they raced off into the woods. There was still a few hours left before morning.

FIN

* * *

Thanks for reading everyone! I really enjoyed writing this piece and had a lot of fun with it! If you want to see what the future holds in store for Kohana, Sesshomaru, Futeki and Rin, they're featured heavily in my other fic _The Road to Resolution,_ so feel free to check it out! Once again, constructive criticism is appreciated and I thank you for your support. Ciao!


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